Why is my baby so fussy?

Survival tips for when your baby cries and you feel like you’re losing your mind…

I’m sharing with you the most common reasons why babies cry and how you can help them settle down. It’s important to remember that every baby is different, the same as with adults, and has their own likes and dislikes. The process of parenting starts at day one and, just like any other relationship, you will grow to know one another, baby’s likes and dislikes, and hopefully fall into a natural rhythm of providing for her individual needs. All babies do have basic, universal, needs that need to be met for them to feel safe and content. As infants grow their needs change and they might cry for different reasons.

Disclaimer: I feel like a complete hypocrite as I’m writing this. At this very moment my 18-month-old baby girl is screaming her head off and refusing to nap no matter what I pull out of my magical mommy bag of tricks. In reality, we are all deeply submerged in the trenches of parenting tiny humans and we do what we can to survive.

With this all said and done, let’s look at the main culprits causing a baby to fuss:

1. Hunger/Thirst

The most obvious and number one reason for a baby to cry is hunger. Newborn babies, in particular, are still figuring out how to feed and digest feeds properly. Its very common for breastfed infants to “cluster feed” early in the evening, which basically means that they want to be on the breast ALL THE TIME until they have stocked up enough nutrition to sustain them for a prolonged period of sleep. A mother’s milk supply tends to be at its lowest during the early evening which can frustrate a hungry baby. I know its not always possible and can be super frustrating for mom as well, but the easiest solution to this problem is to allow your baby to feed constantly on and off for at least a couple of hours before bedtime. Also try to encourage baby to feed for longer periods at a time as the first breastmilk during a feed is less dense and contains more water, intended to quench an infant’s thirst. Your baby needs to feed long enough to enjoy the filling benefits of the “hind milk” which is fattier and more nutrient-dense.

In the case of bottle-fed babies, the trick is to find the right quantity and right formula to satisfy your child. Some babies can show severe intolerance to certain types of formula. If you are unsure if your baby is on the correct type of formula, please seek the professional advice of your healthcare practitioner. Remember to burp baby regularly as wind can often make them feel full and uncomfortable before they have actually had enough milk to satisfy their hunger. If you are convinced that your baby has finished an adequate bottle feed and still seems to be hungry it might be time to start introducing solids. The recommended age to start solid food is around six months, yet some Paediatricians advocate earlier introduction for formula-fed babies, usually around four to five months of age.

2. Tired

This one really blew my mind with my first baby! Overtired babies struggle to fall asleep! It would seem only natural that a tired baby would simply fall asleep – right? This however is not the case. Babies need a lot of sleep to keep up with their constant physical and mental growth, yet they don’t always understand the feeling of exhaustion and instead of dozing off, cry out of pure frustration. Having a good sleep routine can help your little one fall asleep more easily and stay asleep for longer periods of time. Swaddling, soothing music, a dark room and rocking your baby are all helpful ways to relax baby and help her sleep. One mistake that you should try to avoid is the false belief that a baby should be kept awake during the day in order to sleep better at night. Young children simply cannot go for extended periods of time without sleep. The wise words “sleep begets sleep” really are true. The better your baby sleeps during nap times, the better she will sleep at night. Skipping regular nap times creates havoc with your little one’s internal clock and a overtired baby is a nightmare to be around!

3. Overstimulated

Stimulation occurs every time a baby’s senses are engaged. As we know our basic senses are sight, smell, hearing, smell and touch. Sensory stimulation is extremely important for little ones as it helps them learn and develop. For example, a baby gets to know her mother’s scent, voice, how her skin feels etc. These sensory interactions are wonderful and allow baby to bond with her parents and create a sense of security. Environmental stimulation, such as the smell of flowers, the feeling of grass beneath your feet, the sound of music playing on the radio, looking at colourful pictures in a book and so forth help your little one’s brain develop and connects then to the world around them.

While stimulation and sensory experiences are essential for the overall development of babies, too much of a good thing may hamper sleep and disturb emotional regulation. Overstimulation occurs when your baby has experienced too much sensory engagement and struggles to process it all. It is important to know the signs of overstimulation and when your baby needs some wind-down time. Some of the most common signs of overstimulation in young babies include fussiness, crying uncontrollably, excessive tiredness, turning their heads away from noise or visual stimulation such as a television, jerky movements and clenched fists or flailing arms and legs.

When you see that your baby is probably overstimulated or overwhelmed, simply take her somewhere quiet and less bright, and hold/rock her until she settles down or falls asleep. If you are on an outing with your baby, you can put her in a pram and cover it with a light blanket such as a muslin receiver, which dims the light but still allows for adequate airflow.

4. Too hot/cold

Imagine a world where your newborn could tell you exactly how they feel and whether they need another jacket or not. Unfortunately, unless you are raising some kind of Marvel superhero, our little ones can’t communicate verbally and need to make use of other ways to let us know if they are too hot or cold. Babies cannot regulate their body temperature during the first weeks of life. This means that they can get too hot or too cold much faster than adults or older children would. In order to keep your little one comfortable, its important to know the temperature warning signs.

The best place to check if a baby is too cold, is to touch the back of her neck. For example, a baby’s hands and nose might feel chilly when you are out for an early-evening stroll, yet the rest of her body might be perfectly fine. The back of the neck is a widely accepted gauge to check if your baby is feeling chilly. If its still nice and warm to the touch you should be good to go. The back of the neck also a good place to check whether your baby is feeling too hot. If the neck is hot and clammy then you should probably remove a blanket or layer of clothing. Rest assured, a hot and sweaty baby will quickly let you know that she is not happy!

5. Sickness and discomfort

Fussiness and crying in babies and young children, is often caused by some form of discomfort or pain. The most common culprits in young infants tend to be gastrointestinal discomfort (tummy aches), fever, a runny or stuffy nose, reflux, diarrhoea and vomiting, and teething pain. In most cases, minor illnesses and discomfort can be easily resolved with over-the-counter medication. Minor colds, allergies and tummy cramps often resolve on their own as your baby’s immature immune system and digestive tract learn how to cope and fight off viruses. In the case if high fevers (37.5°C and above) and acute pain you should immediately seek the help of a medical professional.

6. Painful nappy rash

A nappy rash is probably something that you will have to treat at some point. Even the best-looked-after bottom can become irritated by exposure to a soiled nappy and result in a nappy rash. You might have changed nappy or wet wipe brands, started your baby on solids (which can increase the acidity of stool), baby might be teething or simply be in a wet nappy for a bit too long due to a nap or car ride and boom! It happens to us all, so please let go of any mommy-guilt right away. Nappy rashes range from mild redness and irritation to full-on raw hell and can be extremely painful for a baby.

The best ways to prevent a nappy rash from occurring is to use gentle disposable or cloth nappies without harsh chemicals, to apply good quality barrier creams or natural wax/oil products such as coconut oil and to change your little one regularly. In my experience, creams with a high zinc oxide content, such as Bennets Bum Crème, Sudocreme, and Bepanthen Cream, work best. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

Once you see the first signs of a rash forming (redness, bumps), wash baby’s bottom with plain lukewarm water and a clean cloth, apply a generous amount of barrier cream and a fresh nappy. Wetwipes, even unscented ones, often contain lotions, soaps and chemicals which can burn broken and irritated skin. Plain lukewarm water and a clean cloth or cotton rounds work best to prevent further irritation. If your baby’s rash does not get better within a few days, she might need antifungal cream or even antibiotics and should be treated by a healthcare provider.

7. Boredom

I truly hope that the above tips help you to better understand why your little one is fussy and how to help her overcome the niggles. The most important thing to remember though – all babies cry. Sometimes, even after you have gone through every list imaginable, your baby will still cry. These situations can be really distressing for parents and at times, if we’re honest, make us want to scream and give up! Please, and I cannot stress this enough, please take a break when you need to. Hand baby over to a friend, partner, grandparent, neighbour or whoever is available and take a breather. Parenting is a long-term commitment and we all need a break from time to time to ensure everyone’s happiness and wellbeing.

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